


A Truth Universally Acknowledged

by sworth812



Category: One Direction (Band), Pride and Prejudice - All Media Types
Genre: Ed Sheeran is Fitzwilliam, Eleanor is Mr. Collins, Everyone else will be there too, F/M, Gemma is Georgiana, Harry is Darcy, Liam is Bingley, Louis is Lizzie, Lydia is Lydia, M/M, Niall is Charlotte Lucas, Nick Grimshaw is Caroline Bingley, Wickham is Wickham, Zayn is Jane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-31
Updated: 2013-10-31
Packaged: 2017-12-31 01:04:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1025504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sworth812/pseuds/sworth812
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of  a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. </p>
<p>Unless of course, he is in want of a husband. </p>
<p>aka a Pride and Prejudice AU because this is 100% necessary</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Truth Universally Acknowledged

**Author's Note:**

> So. This is a present for my lovely friend Amanda whom I dragged down the rabbit hole of this fandom with me. It's a half christmas present/half birthday present meaning I hope to be 100% finished by her birthday in April (I DON'T THINK IT WILL TAKE ME THAT LONG ITS JUST MY DEADLINE FOR MYSELF). I don't own any of these characters, nor do I think this in anyway reflects real life. This is just for my own personal pleasure please don't sue me. 
> 
> The first chapter is essentially verbatim from the book, but the later chapters won't be! Because smut. Also its not fun to just copy and paste. I just think this opening chapter is so iconic that I just had to keep it essentially the same.
> 
> Um a lot of this is going to be total crack because gender politics (aka a core theme of the novel) are going to get beyond messed up. So are many of the sexual mores of the time. Also I will probably use a combination of things from the book and the movie because they are both so great.
> 
> WOO OKAY LETS DO THIS.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. Unless of course, he is in want of a husband.

"My dear Mr. Bennet," Simon Bennet's wife said to him one day, "Have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?"  
Simon replied that he had not.

"But it is," returned she; "For Mrs. Long has just been here, and she told me all about it."

Mr. Bennet made no answer.

"Do you not want to know who has taken it?" cried his wife, impatiently.

"As you want to tell me, my dear, I doubt I have any choice in the matter."

This was invitation enough.

"Why, my dear, you know, Mrs. Long says that Netherfield is taken by a young man of large fortune from the north of England; that he came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, and was so much delighted with that he agreed with Mr. Morris immediately; that he is to take possesion before Christmas, and some of his sevants are to be in the house by the end of next week."

"What is his name?"

"Payne. Liam Payne."

"Is he married or single?"

"Oh! Single, my dear, to be sure. A single man of large fortune; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for my boys!" Due to unfortunate circumstances- or at least that is how she referred to some poor choices- in her youth, Ms. Bennet was the mother of two bastard boys, whom she and Mr. Bennet loved dearly, despite their unfortunate lack of official parentage. However, the young men did present something of a problem when it came to the matter of succession. Mr. Bennet could not pass his estate on to either of his adopted sons (for the estate must pass to a male Bennet; neither a Tomlinson nor a Malik would do), nor could he will it to his only legal offspring, the lively Lydia Bennet.

"How so? How can it affect them?"

"My dear Mr. Bennet," replied his wife, "how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of his marrying one of them." Zayn. She was impossibly proud of Zayn- such a beauty.

"Is that his design in settling here?"

"Design! Nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very likely that he may fall in love with one of them, and therefore you must visit him as soon as he comes."

"I see no occasions for that. You, the boys, and Lydia may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better, for as you are as handsome as any of them, Mr. Payne might like you the best of the party."

"My dear, you flatter me. I certainly have had my share of beauty, but I do not pretend to be any thing extraordinary now. When a women has three grown children, she ought to give over thinking of her own beauty."

"I such cases, a woman has not often much beauty to think of."

"But, my dear, you must indeed go and see Mr. Payne when he comes into the neighborhood."

"It is more than I engage for, I assure you."

"But consider our boys. Only think what an establishment it would be for one of them. Sir Bobby and Lady Horan are determined to go, merely on that account, for in general you know they visit no new comers. Indeed you must go, for it will be impossible for us to visit him, if you do not."

"You are over scrupulous surely. I dare say Mr. Bingley will be very glad to see you; and I will send a few lines by you to assure him of my hearty consent to his marrying whichever he chooses of the children; though I must throw in a good word for my little Louis." Despite the fact that Louis was not of his own blood, Mr. Bennet felt a great deal of affection for the young man.

"I desire you will do no such thing. Louis is not a bit better than the others; and I am sure he is not half so handsome as Zayn, nor so good humored as Lydia. But you are always giving him the preference."

"They have none of them much to recommend them," replied Mr. Bennet; "they are silly and ignorant like other young people; but Louis has something more of a quickness than his siblings."

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your children in such a way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves."  
"You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for you nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least."

"Ah! You do not know what I suffer."

"But I hope you will get over it, and live to see many men of four thousand a year come into the neighborhood."

"It will be of no use to us, if twenty should come since you will not visit them."

"Depend upon it, my dear, that when there are twenty, I will visit them all."

Simon Bennet was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humor, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three and twenty years had been insufficient to make his wife understand his character. Her mind was less difficult to develop. She was a woman of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper. When she was discontented she fancied herself nervous. The business of her life was to get her children married; its solace was visiting and news.


End file.
